Showing posts with label my hopes for my daughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my hopes for my daughter. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My First Mother's Day

It was lovely. Really. Nick, Jo, and I had brunch with Nick's mom and sister. I talked with my mama. We had a low-key day and Nick made me a dinner of my choice.

For quite a while now I've been thinking a lot about my mothering and how it's been influenced by my mama. I am the oldest of four and our mama stayed at home with all of us. She always made us her priority (even though she occasionally forgot us at school -- I promise I'm over that). We were encouraged to be creative and loving. She has always been supportive of us and the choices that we make.

A while ago I asked my mama what she learned from her mama. Here's what she said:
Mom taught by doing.  I'd ask her a question and she'd say that she didn't remember! Ha, how could she not remember something as momentous as a birth of a baby, namely me. I get it now when all of the things I thought I'd never forget, I've forgotten.  Mom taught by always being there for me.  She came to us as soon as she could after each baby was born. She took you and told me to go to sleep. She cooked, cleaned and did whatever she could with you so that I could recuperate.  I would go to the farm ragged and worn down from you babies and again she wouldn't tell me how bad I had looked until she made me eat and sleep and nap and eat some more - enough that my eyes were bright again.  Mom took care of me!  Unspoken love.  She didn't say she loved me or the rest of us like we do today. So, I guess she taught me that she would always be there to help and when we went to the farm she took us under her wing and into the rhythm of her life. The world didn't stop when we went to the farm...we just got caught up in the lovin'.
Right after Jo was born, my mama came to stay with us for a few days. She would come take Jo after a feeding and tell me to sleep. She cooked and cleaned and did whatever she could so that I could recuperate. Whenever she visits us in Chicago or we go visit her she takes care of us. She is selfless. We laugh together and encourage each other in our many adventures. She inspires me to be a great mother to Jo.

My mama and me


Monday, December 19, 2011

Girl talk

I read How to Talk to Little Girls (by Lisa Bloom) on The Huffington Post while I was pregnant. A friend re-posted the link on Facebook recently, and I read it again. I just love it!

There is so much emphasis on beauty for little girls. Just watch an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras or even America's Next Top Model. We all contribute. I've even noticed myself saying, "You're so cute," or "You're so pretty" to Jo. Which is fine, I think, as long as I'm also praising her other attributes (which are plentiful).

Now there's nothing wrong with being pretty, but we're doing our baby girls a disservice if that is the first or only trait we focus on. I have the chance to raise a baby girl who is beautiful inside and out: a baby girl who is confident and not afraid to be herself, a baby girl who is proud of her accomplishments and successes in all aspects of her life, a baby girl who is smart, sophisticated, and savvy. So I will encourage her daily to be her beautiful self. This is what I will tell her today.
Baby Jo, you are so beautiful, but only because you are all of these things too: 

You are so strong. You were born that way. You kick and kick and kick and stretch your arms and kick again. I just know that you'll be running circles around your dad and me before long. You are very opinionated as well. You know exactly what you like and what you don't, and you sure let us know.

You are so smart. You can recognize your dad and mama. You are already babbling and saying amazing things. I love it when I'm singing to you and you start to sing along. You tell your grandmas fabulous stories. I have a feeling you'll always have something to say.

You are so funny. Sometimes I hear your dad laughing out loud when he plays with you. I think you're telling him jokes. You make the most hilarious faces. You'll be hamming it up for years to come (just like your mama and her family).

You are so caring and compassionate. You love to snuggle. When I have a rough day you coo and smile to show me that you love me.

I just love you!