Post-Jo body

When I look back at pictures of myself before I was pregnant I think, "Wow, that's a hot bod!" I wish I thought that at the time. I wish I had been able to say, "I like my body just the way it is." Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

I gained 50 pounds with Jo. I've lost part of that. I don't know how much -- I don't own a scale (it's better for everyone that way). Now that I'm somewhere in the middle it's so frustrating. I don't know how to dress this new body. It looks different in all of my clothes. Things wiggle that didn't wiggle before. I always seem to have the dreaded muffin-top. I don't want to buy clothes since my bod keeps changing. My nursing bras are close to not fitting anymore around my rib cage. Argh. At least it keeps changing.

I'm slowly, but surely getting back into my old clothes. I know that it look nine months to put the weight on and I shouldn't expect to lose it in less than nine months, yadda yadda yadda, but I just want my old body back. I know that's not going to happen.

My body will never be the same as it was before Jo. That old hot bod is gone. It could be bigger, it could be smaller, but it will never be the same. Come to think of it, no part of me will ever be the same as it was before Jo. And I'm totally ok with that, I guess -- although I still mourn for my old life/body at times. Having Jo in my life makes all of this change easier. I have to remind myself that she's totally worth it.

I am going to treat myself though and buy a new dress this weekend. Nick and I have a date night coming up!

Babies on stage

The show I'm in opened last night. It went really well and it's going to be a super fun run. It made me think of last year when we opened and I was newly pregnant. It was not so fun doing a show during the first trimester since I was exhausted and mega-cranky. But that was Baby Jo's first play ever. She was super tiny, but she was on stage with me.

I also did a show that ran in May of last year when I was closer to 20 weeks. That was Baby Jo's second play and she did marvelously. I think my hormonal up and down even added to my performance.

Whenever I saw a play when I was pregnant Jo seemed to react by kicking. I don't know if it was the lights or various sounds or something else that stimulated her -- I'd like to think she was just learning to love theatre at an early age.

Maybe some day she'll want to do a play again. If not, that's ok too. 

Way back when I was pregnant...

Back in August I did a test photo shoot with Callie Lipkin. She was working on a holiday project and needed help. Check out her site as she has pretty pretty pics to look at, especially the burlesque project.

As I was cleaning out my photo files in an effort to back up my computer I found these pics again. Here are a few of my faves from that shoot. Oh man, being pregnant in August was no fun. No fun at all.

All photos by Callie Lipkin, 2011.