Jo turned one this past Saturday. In honor of her birthday, I finally finished our birth story. And by "finish" I mean: write the last sentence and proof. I didn't change much from when I wrote most of it right after the birth. After re-reading this and reflecting, I feel very lucky. We got the birth that we wanted. We had an "easy" birth especially compared to most of the mamas I know. I did notice that the sentences in our birth story are short. It feels very factual -- not a lot of fluff. There were gaps in my memory, even then. There are more gaps now. I'm glad I had most of it down. So with that, here you go:
I didn't have any of the "normal" symptoms
announcing that labor was coming: diarrhea, bloody show, and there was no sign
of my mucus plug. So when I started to feel light cramping at 4am on October 6
th
I thought I was just constipated. I was up and about until about 6am when I
called our doula, Barb. I would have called her earlier, but I didn't want to bother her so early (even though she said I could). I mentioned that I was feeling constipated and having
cramps and every once in a while I would get a bigger cramp. She said it could
be the beginning of labor so recommended that I take a nap, or a bath, or have
a glass of wine and try to get more sleep. We didn't have wine and I didn't
want to sleep so I hopped in the bath.
Nick came into the bathroom and sat with
me. Almost as soon as I was in the tub the contractions started. We timed them
and around 7am they were 3-4 minutes apart lasting 45-60 seconds. I could still
talk through the contractions when Nick called Barb back to let her know that,
yes, I was in labor. I don't remember when Nick called to have her come over,
but in the meantime I helped Nick make the bed with a plastic sheet, get all
the birth supplies on the dining room table, and set up the birthing tub in the
living room. Every time I had a contraction I had to stop and rock or brace
myself, but I could still talk through them. Nick also made me eggs that I tried to eat.
At some point I got on the birth ball for the contractions.
I was on the ball when Barb got here. She immediately put her hands on my back and
everything felt so much better. Most of the pain was in my back at that
point. My arms were tired from bracing myself on the ball so I moved to the
toilet. I labored there for quite a while. It felt good to cave my chest in and
lean back on the toilet during the contractions. Barb reminded me to not brace
against the pain, but to ride it like a wave and to try to relax my body into
the pain. That's easier to tell someone to do than to actually do. But I did my best.
While I was sitting on the toilet I threw up all the eggs I
had eaten earlier. Barb asked Nick to call Sarah (our midwife) and have her come, and then
Nick started to fill the birth tub. When it was filled the water was so hot
that Nick had to add ice to cool it down. I was having really intense
contractions. Really really intense so I was bent over the side of the tub. It felt good just to hang there. That's when Sarah came.
When I got in the tub the contractions were immediately a
bit easier. During the first contraction in the tub I actually said,
"Wow, this is nice." I had made a labor playlist that was going the
whole time and I remember hearing songs that I didn't like and I said,
"NEXT SONG," or "SKIP." I also remember telling everyone to
shut up because they were talking too loudly during one of my contractions. Sarah
fed me water from a straw or yogurt every once in a while. I think the bendy
straw is the best invention -- I could drink water in any position. Nick also had those endurance goo packs from all of his races. He fed me those too.
During one of my contractions in the tub I felt something
pop and release. I noticed some stuff in the water and asked Barb if I pooped.
She said my water must have broken and the mucus plug came out in the tub.
I started to want to push. Towards the end of my laboring in the tub Sarah told me to rest as much as
possible between the contractions and actually try to relax enough to sleep. There
was no way that I was going to be able to sleep in between contractions, but
floating in the water was close enough. During the contractions she wanted me
to get in the position where the contraction felt the strongest. The water
helped me float and the contractions seemed a little easier, but they were
still so so intense.
When it was time to get out of the tub it just felt right. I
got out and Sarah checked my cervix. I was already at 7 centimeters. She asked me to get back on the toilet and
labor there. I was really feeling like I wanted to push. The contractions
were long and hard. They made by whole body shake. At least it felt like my
body was shaking. Heavy. Deep. It didn't take long to dilate to 10. I was so
ready to push.
I started pushing on my side lying on the futon. I had Barb
on one side of me and Nick was holding my other leg up. Pushing was hard. It
was probably the hardest part for me. I remember hearing during my pregnancy
that many people thought that pushing was the easiest part. NOT FOR ME. The
breaks in between contractions were nice and long and I could rest, but the
pushing was so hard!
We warned our neighbors prior to labor that we were planning
a home birth so not to fret if they heard screaming. I'm pretty sure I went
primal during the pushing. I don't remember a lot except for this: each time I had a good push everyone cheered. My
eyes were closed most of the time, but I knew when I was doing well. Also, when the baby was really close to coming out it
hurt. It hurt a lot. I even said, "I don't want to do this. I want to quit."
That's when Barb said, "Don't be afraid of the pain. The pain is what gets
the baby out."
So I kept pushing. I didn’t really have any other option. And
then Jo’s head came out. And then her whole body came out, and it felt like the absolute
best thing in the world. Nick caught her (and dropped her just a few inches) –
she was super slippery. Then someone said, “Bergen, hold your baby.” And I did.
Johanna was born at home at 11:45am on October 6, 2011.
